Professor Ralph at UCL believes that some clinics are feeding patients’ unrealistic expectations. “Initially, they don’t see doctors, they see sales people. It’s a hard sell: ‘We can get you an extra inch or two.’ I’ve been practising in the NHS for 30 years: if it was that easy to increase the length of a normal penis, I’d be in the Mediterranean on my cruise liner now.”
Herbal remedies, Kegels (pelvic floor exercises — learn more here), and exercises have all been mentioned as potential ways to make your penis bigger. However, we’ve searched and searched for medical evidence that these techniques will work to grow your penis, but there’s simply zero, zilch, nada, no evidence. You may find lots of unverified anecdotes, which come from a sample size of one, but they simply cannot be trusted. After all, no one on the internet knows you’re a dog (or liar). We recommend that you avoid these techniques.

The next day I got the shipping update and I nervously began pacing around my parents house plotting how to get the big brown box from the mail box to my room unnoticed so no one would ask “whats in the box” and leave me red faced and stammering while coming up with something to say. Few days go by and the mail comes, I bolt out the door to the mailbox, grabbed the box, dropped about 3 envelopes on the ground and bolt back inside. The mail on the ground was a casualty of war and I left it behind.
The appearance of your genitals is affected by temperature and your state of mind. Feeling cold and anxious will cause your testicles and penis to shrink. In contrast, they will appear larger when you are warm and relaxed, such as after a bath. Heterosexual men tend to only glimpse other men’s penises from a sideways view in changing rooms at the gym. Looking at your penis from the viewpoint of top-down, is a ‘perception-shortening angle’, so it might appear shorter than others, but not necessarily be so. Another common source of comparison is pornography. Given that male porn actors are often employed for their unusually large penises, comparing your body to theirs is not going to normalise how you feel and is likely to add to feelings of inadequacy.
I found that passionate professionalism a bit unnerving to be honest, but then again, I’ve never had weekly strategy sessions about my dick with a stranger. Like, how do you respond to a statement like this before lunch: “Be very careful not to grip the glans during your exercises, Brian. If you need to use some talcum powder to enhance your grip, that would be fine. Remember to update your log.”
One of the things I took away from dating him is how insecure men can be about their penis size. So whenever I date anyone, I always tell them the very specific details in how I love their penis. I never lie – that would be too tough to maintain long-term – but I always find something. Huge girth. Love the way it curves. The hardest I’ve ever been with. I can barely fit it in my mouth. Whatever. I don’t understand the penis-insecurity but I am going to do my best to rid this world of penis insecurities, one cock at a time.

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